Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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