When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
