Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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