You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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