Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
