apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
