the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
