Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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