She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
