would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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