You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
