dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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