CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
