I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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