I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
