Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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