Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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