That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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