the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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