Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
