Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
