He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
