saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Welp...herpes.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
