Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
