So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
