just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
