dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
