OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
