I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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