And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
