Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
