Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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