You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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