this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
