We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
