Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
