He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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