I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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