There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
