Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize