You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
