He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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