Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
