A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
