I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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