Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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