You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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