Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
