so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
