She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
