i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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