I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
